Category Archives: Holidays

Fingernails on a Blackboard

I can’t stand listening to the melodic singing of anyone under the age of 12. Watch this 1985 video of a youngster warbling an inane Christmas song (with a creepy Santa thrown in at the end). ‘Nuf said.

This ranks second:

Merry Christmas

The In-Laws are coming over for the holiday weekend. The expected snow to hit upstate New York became an early Spring-like rain storm and I am not setting foot within 10 miles of a supermarket or retail store over the next three days.

I suppose I should link to a YouTube video of the King’s College Choir, Cambridge, UK, singing some glorious, ethereal Christmas song (the Wee One and I have been watching a few everyday this past week). But I think I’ll leave you with a fun, little nugget and wish all five of you who visit this blog, a VERY, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

And the Tripe Award Goes to…

Update 2011: I wrote this in 2008 and I’m still of the same opinion. Though the new Michael Buble (or Michael Bubble as Hubby likes to say with rolled eyes) is a nice listen replacing Mariah Cary.

Now that it’s after Thanksgiving, I am listening to those 24/7 all “Holiday” song radio stations. Like everyone else, I secretly tap my feet to Dominick the Christmas Donkey (Come on! Admit it!) and, though I am no fan of hers, Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas is You gets me going everytime with that Spector-Wall-of-Sound track.

But there are two holiday songs which make me turn the station or shut off the radio altogether. I will refuse to listen to them even if you offer me ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

Runner-up for the Tripe Award for Worst Holiday Song is…

Where Are You Christmas? by Faith Hill

Where are you Christmas
Why can’t I find you
Why have you gone away
Where is the laughter
You used to bring me
Why can’t I hear music play

Christmas is a day, NOT A PERSON. (I could get into the whole Jesus thing but that’s besides the point.) If you can’t find the friggin’ day, Christmas is listed on most calendars. (Hint: look under DECEMBER.) The pure insipidness of this song boggles the mind.

First Place for the Tripe Award for Worst Holiday Song…

Prestigious Tripe Award

Prestigious Tripe Award

Christmas Shoes by Bob Carlisle

Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please
It’s Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry Sir?
Daddy says there’s not much time
You see, she’s been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus, tonight.

I don’t even know where to begin?!? A poor waif wants to buy shoes for his dying mother. What? So she can wear them in her coffin? How thoughtful. Momma’s dyin’…I’m waitin’ in line at Sears to buy these crappy, made in China shoes. I’m not surprised that a christian group spent FOUR years writing this monstrosity. It reeks of mediocre spiritual…tripe.

HAPPY “HOLIDAYS”!!!

JOY!!!

When the tongue is out, you know IT’S ALL GOOD!!!

My favorite picture from our holiday on Wells Beach, Maine. The wee one attacked the waves with vigor. Sand and sun didn’t affect her in any way. And not one spot of a sun burn, phew!

Invasion

The In-Laws (Mom, Dad, Brothers and Brother’s GF) have invaded our neck of the woods. We spent a relaxing evening on the porch talking about this and that and the other. I think our holiday evenings will be spent in the same manner.

The label has a 1930s feel.

Of course, every In-Law Invasion  goes easier with a glass of wine. Of late, I’ve been sipping Pennywise Petite Sirah. Around here, it sells for $8.99.

Slainte!

Overheard in Vermont

In an East Arlington, Vermont antique store I overheard three women talking. All were in their late sixties/early seventies. Being Vermont and all, I assumed these ladies were “back to the earth/hippies/aging baby boomers/ladies who dine at organic bistros.”

The gist of their conversation was a BBQ one of them attended over the Memorial Day weekend. Apparently, the BBQ host committed the ultimate sin:

They served the food on

paper plates and atE With plastic utensils.

The storyteller explained, “You’d think they’d know better.” The ladies who drive Priuses all nodded their silver-haired heads. Another added,” You just have to respect where they’re at and hope they come around.”

Yes, and pray the BBQ host comes around before he is sent to the Mother Earth Loves You Re-Education Camp.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend

The In-Laws are coming for a visit and there are garage sales to visit. Hope your weekend is a good one.

Ye Old Homestead Decked Out for Memorial Day